Do you smell poop?

I hear Max counting "28, 29, 20-ten..." as I walk into the playroom.
Max "Do you smell poop?"
Me: "Is there poop in this room?" (in all honestly I never really know the answer to that question)
Max: "Fynnie pooped in here"
Me: "Where's the poop?"
Max: "Close."
Me: "JUST TELL ME WHERE THE POOP IS!!" (at this point I'm not even moving because I have no idea if I'm one step away from poop squished between my toes.  Yeah, it's happened).
Max: "In my pants."
Me: "THIS is how you tell me you pooped your pants?!"
Max: "Well, I almost broke my record for holding it in.  Almost."

It would be one thing for Max to be obsessed with breaking the world "hold-my-poop-in" record if he was GOOD at it.  This is quite another thing altogether.